Limericks

The previous post was an extract from my book, Pappa Gander: the Less Better Half of Mother Goose, pictured to the right. That's basically a collection of my less serious attempts at rhyming, parody, and the retelling of well known fairy tales. There are other nursery rhyme parodies as well -- though mostly short ones -- but below, I'll paste a collection of limericks. Those of you who follow me on Facebook, may recognise some of them.

Barbarians and Samarians

Barb, a barbarian from Barbaria

And her man, lived in a wire barbed area

Sign said, 'Trespassers beware

Though I shoot first, I be fair.

If mistaken, I'll have my wife, Barb, bury ya.'

Samson and son, Sam, in Samaria

Lived in separate houses in the same area

Sign said, 'Trespassers beware.

But if you're feminine and fair,

I'll not shoot, but I'll have my son, Sam, marry ya.'

Reinventing the Wheel

when willie reinvented the wheel

we all laughed and called him a schlmiel

then it so happened

that he took out a patten

now it's his licence fees that make us reel

the first draft of a limerick:

a seemingly educated limericist named curdy

writes limericks too over exceedingly wordy

in spite of how much he tries

to sound educated and wise

one moreover wonders as to how one fringes so on the edges of absurdity

the final draft:

poet named curdy

was too wordy

being wise,

downsized

now sounds nerdy